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EDNOS Diaries
Thursday, June 02, 2011
My new mantra is: Fuck food, and fuck life.
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About Me
Niika
I have EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified), which is the primary focus of the posts in this journal.
WARNING: these writings are potentially very triggering.
[Height: 5' 3.75" (1.62m)]
View my complete profile
Sites To See
Built on a Dream
THIN Documentary
Eating Disorder Education
Blog Archive
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2012
(11)
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March
(4)
102.2. It said 102.0 the first time I weighed, bu...
102.8. Took lax last night, but I only BMed a "no...
I got up at about 5 AM or so today... that's getti...
Apparently my weight gain has slowed... I've only...
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February
(7)
101 lbs. Carnation Instant Breakfast made me have...
I think I'm eating enough... or am I? I have a pr...
I hate eating... I hate trying to be and/or seemi...
I am still trying, and determined to try. Really ...
Attempting recovery, again... whatever that may b...
(A response to a comment I got on my forum...) I ...
Relapsing again. There's no use in any of you tryi...
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2011
(51)
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November
(5)
Here's a Xanga entry I just wrote, which I had tit...
ED = bad. Death wish = even worse. In essence, I ...
Weight today was 95.2, but it's been jumping all ...
Today I am 95.8. I have been eating. I hope to con...
I’m retaining water everywhere on my body because ...
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October
(5)
Just got back from the ER for a cut I made on my f...
Forcing myself to drink a whole bottle of Powerad...
Okay... I'm just going to c/p my Xanga update fro...
Couldn't resist the urge to weigh today, as I got...
So I got on the scale this morning... something I...
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September
(4)
So my iron is normal... it's actually in the 50s ...
Talked to my psychiatrist today, and found out th...
Okay, so... a lot has happened since I last wrote...
Floating between the mid 95s and 97.0... anywhere...
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August
(1)
Triggering: Contains weights, BMIs, etc etc
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June
(6)
Dietician appointment in a little over two hours....
Warning: Entry contains eating disorder and suicid...
I fucking hate life. I fucking hate... everything....
I just cannot seem to cope as of about five days a...
My new mantra is: Fuck food, and fuck life.
It's stupid... I'm eating again, I'm eating somewh...
►
May
(1)
I am out of treatment... I left M House on Monday ...
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April
(3)
Had another fucking slip last night... had a mini ...
Eating's back on track a little more today... I di...
Okay, so... up until a few days ago, I was doing r...
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March
(4)
Eating my usual meals and snacks, and not binging ...
Day 3 at the house... it seems to get slightly har...
I am scared out of my mind about M House tomorrow....
Weight today was 103.8... up a pound from yesterda...
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February
(7)
I finally had a BM after about two days of feelin...
So I've had a very sudden (or seemingly sudden) c...
My weight just keeps climbing... due to water rete...
Yesterday, after lots of BMs from lax, my weight ...
96.6. BMI: 16.7. I see the dietician today. I rea...
97.4. BMI: 16.8. Just another day.
I know I need help, but I don't WANT help, and my...
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January
(15)
Lost a pound since yesterday. 98.6. BMI: 17.1. I f...
Reached a new low weight, and also a goal, today: ...
After like a week and a half of maintaining my we...
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