I finally had a BM after about two days of feeling bloated and gross because I didn't have one... it was super hard and rather painful, though. I'm just glad to know things are finally starting to move naturally through me. I hate Ex-Lax.

Today my weight was 99.2 lbs; up .2 from yesterday. I have managed about 1650-1700 calories the last two days, and seem well on my way to managing at least that much today. I am trying very very hard for balance in my meals -- carbs (I do whole wheat whenever possible), proteins, veggies and/or dairy, fats. I'm still not eating fruit, but maybe eventually I'll be able to work it in... right now I'm still afraid of it. It really doesn't make much sense, because I'll eat jam or yogurt with sugar in it, but not fruit? I guess fruit is my last hold-out, or something. Maybe in coming days or weeks I can work it back in, somehow, sometime. I don't really care that much, to be honest. Almost all of the micro- and macronutrients in fruit are easily obtained from all the other food groups, anyway. Or so I'm convincing myself.

I still b/p at least once a night, but I knew that was going to happen. I can't control myself from doing it these days. Last night as part of my binge I polished off the rest of a box of cream crackers with real blueberry jam... I mean, really, who binges on blueberry jam and crackers?? But it was ridiculously delicious, and I couldn't hold back. After that I ate a bunch of chocolate, purged, then binged again on Life toasted cinnamon cereal with milk and blueberry muffins with margarine. Purged again; got everything out the 2nd time, and felt a lot better stomach-wise. I was able to go to sleep after that, though, thankfully.

These are interesting times that we live in.